From Space-time to Space and Time****

Written and Directed by Baptise Le Bihan

Reviewed by A. Mewsic Man for Toe-Tappers Anonymous

It’s a MUSICAL. This third, and last, of the Sideways Music trilogy, directed by Le Bihan, and is yet another twist in this genre-bending trilogy. In this musical number we follow a character known only as ST, a laid-back blue-grass singer whose refrain throughout the film is ‘similarity ain’t identity, baby’.



This third instalment of the trilogy takes place, chronologically speaking, earlier than the second instalment. ST is yet another friend of Ned’s, though it is never explained how the two became friends. Those of you drawn to the cinema for amazing cinematography and sweeping vistas will be disappointed: this could easily have been a stage musical that was filmed. In essence, we follow a dialogue between Ned and ST, with one remonstrating with the other about whether sideways music can be expected to be a success with audiences given how like, or unlike, space, time is. The musical numbers are catchy, and the actors/singers playing Ned and ST are fantastic. If you want a taster for what’s in the film, below are several of the numbers that are performed.


This is a lot toe-tapping fun. Four stars.

Baby, Similarity ain’t Identity

Sung by Ned, to the tune of Bon Jovi, This Ain’t a Love Song

I should have seen it coming when the music died

The audience went running, from the noise they did hide

I should have listened when they said time was like space

Now I’ve egg on my face

And baby, ain’t it funny, how you never ever learn to see

That time is like space, without there being an identity

But only fools are know-it-alls, and I played that fool for you

I tried and I tried to show time was like space for you baby,

I cried and I cried as the science drove my crazy, baby


If the equations I’ve got you’re wrong; if time’s not just one more spatial entity

Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong, similarity ain’t identity.

Baby I thought you and me would stand the test of time

Like we got away with the perfect crime

But we were just a legend in my mind. I guess that I was blind

To all the ways that space, is not the same as time

To the fact that the fourth dimension, has a minus sign

You and I were the renegades; an A-theorist’s version of change

It made me so mad ‘cause I wanted it bad for us baby

Now it’s so sad that this fad ain’t worth saving.

If the equations I’ve got you’re wrong; if time is not just one more spatial entity

Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong, similarity ain’t identity.

If the pain that I’m feeling so strong is the reason that I’m holding on

Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong, similarity ain’t identity

I tried and I tried to show time was like space for you baby,

I cried and I cried to deny what the science told me, baby

If the equations I’ve got you’re wrong; if time is not just one more spatial entity

Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong, similarity ain’t identity.

Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong, similarity ain’t identity.

Can’t fight the science, man

ST sings to the tune of Lee-Anne Rimes’ Can’t Fight the Moonlight

Wolves, are like dogs

At least more so than hogs

But you know

But you know that you can’t fight the science, man

Leave your kid with that dude

And he’ll end up as food

But you know

But you know that you can’t fight the science, man

No, you can’t fight it,

It’s more complicated than that


Homo sapiens are like chimps

Though the former are wimps

But you know

But you know that you can’t fight the science, man

If the chimp does your taxes

He won’t answer your faxes

Then you know

Then you know that you can’t fight the science, man

No, you can’t fight it,

It’s more complicated than that

Toads are like frogs

At least most so than dogs

But you know

But you know that you can’t fight the science, man

If you lick that frog hard

You’ll turn into a bard

Then you know

Then you know that you can’t fight the science, man

No, you can’t fight it,

It’s more complicated than that

Penguins are like rooks

At least most so than books

But you know

But you know that you can’t fight the science, man

If you throw that penguin up

He’ll come down like a pup

Then you know

Then you know that you can’t fight the science, man

No, you can’t fight it,

It’s more complicated than that

Candles are like lamps

At least most so than stamps

But you know

But you know that you can’t fight the science, man

If your lamp catches fire

It will smoke like a tyre

Then you know

Then you know that you can’t fight the science, man

No, you can’t fight it,

It’s more complicated than that

Republicans are like Democrats

At least most so than dried bats

But you know

But you know that you can’t fight the science, man

When your health care goes away

A giant bill you’ll have to pay

Then you know

Then you know that you can’t fight the science, man

No, you can’t fight it,

It’s more complicated than that